ok, so i know no one reads this (pitty party) (its ok cuz i probably don’t read yours) but i have a wandering story to tell. no really. i have no idea where its going, only where its starting. so here goes.

i’m innocently watching tv. i should say unsuspectingly (is that a word)(i made it up) watching tv. you know, the usual. start the evening with house, save two patients then surf the channels. when what to my wondering eyes do appear but these crazy chicks beating the crap out of each other in really cool outfits with names like sister mary jane and smarty pants. suddenly, i’m sucked into the vortex of rollerderby. what the heck? the shows over and i’m thinking 3 things. 1) mary jane makes my brain explode 2) i want to go see a philly rollerderby 3) its not fair that there isn’t a guys league. i mean i didn’t look into its history but it looks like it started as a marketing stunt in the sex-role beleagered world of the fifties. at any rate i’d probably play one game and hate it, since i hate pain so much. besides if there was a guys league i’m pretty sure there would be more deaths and other terminal injuries. not to say in a round about way that girls are wimps, but seriously, in the one bout i watched there were like 4-5 straight out fist fights and the director removed any major presence of the referees (if there was any to remove). it scared the poop out of me. to sum up that thought; if you put a bunch of guys in that situation, i don’t think a ref in the world would be able to peel a pile of pissed off guys fast enough to prevent skulls from being collapsed under the weight of some massive dude’s six-inch wide fist. (if such a thing exists, and it could) maybe its just part of the game… like if men mixed rugby with ultimate fighting on wheels or something.

so maybe men should start our own counter-cultural tough sport. i would probably call the sport shitfaced, but that’s not so marketable so i’m open to suggestions. the basic tools of the game are bmx bikes, a football and a roller hockey rink. and basically what you get is a steroid induced version of polo. god this sounds great.

on a final note i have come to three conclusions 1) i desperately have to find a passion in life, 2) i really need to stop watching tv… i mean cold turkey. no more is no more and 3) sister mary jane is my new crush (albeit probably the dumbest feeling i’ve ever thought) (yes, i did use feeling and thought in the same sentence)(go me)

xoxo
p.s. i currently have a running theory/observation girls who work in special education are always smart and very often very cute.
p.s.s. the thing that is so hard about this observation is that i’m constantly kicking myself for saying that something is “retarded” around people (particularly really cute, really smart girls) who work in special education. boo for me.