hung out in detroit, bombed an art show, and hated on a high school reunion. All in one night.

Seriously. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, but you know how airports can be with their crappy security and even crappier customer service from the airlines. At any rate Ben and I had spent the afternoon on a hill overlooking Detroit’s skyline, but it was time to come home. We finally got ready to board the plane but there was a big hole in front of the gate. To this day, I’m not really sure if it was there on purpose or on accident. But Ben and I both fell in before we could make it to the plane. Falling through that hole was almost like Luke Skywalker falling through the trash tubes of Sky City. When we reached the bottom we were able to grab onto some coils at the bottom. We began trying to climb up but Ben didn’t make it. He fell down into the fog of Detroit.

Eventually I made it to the plane and flew back to Philadelphia where my old high school was holding an Art Show slash Reunion. I hate reunions. I hate my high school and really don’t talk to anyone that I graduated with. So let me just say I was ecstatic to be there. Not to mention the fact that the competition of the art show was really getting to me. Jon and Elise were there, Josh and Bucky were there, and two of my old crushes, Kimberly and Erin were there. Of course Erin was my arch art enemy and since this was a competition I was pretty much not talking to her at all. Needless to say I was pretty miserable mingling with all these people that I basically hadn’t talked to in so long or didn’t want to ever talk to again. On top of all that there was a line for everything. If I wanted to look at someone else’s painting or sculpture, I had to wait in line. If I wanted food from the buffet, I had to wait in line, and worst of all, I had to wait in line for the bathroom.

Waiting in line was bad enough, but waiting in line I ran into all the idiots I was trying to avoid. I was lucky enough to be standing beside Kimberly so I was at least able to ignore people and talk to her or just intently watch her subtly cute movements. I finally made my way into the restroom. This was a strange restroom to say the least. There were stairs to the toilets and urinals and the urinals were on a balcony that overlooked the door. The back of the urinals overlooked the door into the bathroom so that when I peed into the urinal, I was facing the door. As my great luck would have it, I managed to start peeing right as the door opened, missed the urinal, and peed on the only person at this god-forsaken event that I cared about – Kimberly. What luck.